pete's wondrous chillirating:
Brown an unfeasible quantity of stewing beef in a Circulon casserole that appears to be enormous but will all too soon turn out to be barely adequate in size.
Fry onion and celery and carrots, add garlic and coriander, cumin and dill seeds, these previously dry roasted and ground in pestle and mortar, and fry a bit more.
Add tomatoes, ground paprika, the contents of the frying pan, a generous quantity of cocoa powder, bay leaves and some thyme to the beef. [and a goodly slush of red wine - Ed]
Add chopped red chillis and (in this case, as this was aimed at an audience of unknown tolerances) a chopped red bell pepper.
Curse on discovering that the Krups Orchestro has chosen this moment in time to deliver espresso into its grounds tray rather than its delivery spout.
Make a quantity of strong coffee in the small cafetiere in order to put off getting the emergency backup espresso machine from the loft.
Add coffee to casserole, along with Sel de Guérande and crushed black Parameswaran peppercorns, and bung the casserole into a slow oven for a few hours.
Leave to fester gently to itself until the following afternoon.
Add red kidney and flageolet beans that really should have been pre boiled but came respectively out of tins and a glass jar. Oh what an idle sod am I.
Stuff the now full to overflowing casserole back in the oven for a few more hours until people are ready to eat.
That's it really.